Thought for the week KW8-2018 – Scared of our own shadows

One of my role models, Richard Brandon said: “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later”. This someone can quite easily be the face in the mirror. This links to the Banksy painting: “If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.”

One thing I have learned in life is that opportunities seldom comes around more than twice. The two times that an opportunity shows its face is when it knocks on our door and say “Here I am”. The second time we meet this opportunity is when we have to pay someone else who had the guts to follow their dreams, and realize the opportunities we were to foolish to pursue.

We most often say no to opportunities, because we have not been given permission to accept it. Even though we are adults, and we all have big dreams, we also long for someone giving us permission to achieve greatness. It is as if we need an inferior person telling us “yes, you have my worthless permission to be the best you, you can be.”

Ask the face in the mirror why we say no to opportunities (plural). When we are honest with ourselves we will realize we want permission because we are scared of failure and we are equally scared of success. Like John Mason says: “Get out of your own way.” We stand in our own way, because with success comes responsibilities.

Listen to all the excuses we tell ourselves, these excuses are mostly fuelled by fear. Fear that we might not succeed, or worst that we will succeed. Fear about what other people will say or might not say. Fear of the unknown, yet scared of the place where we are now. Fear is not a positive motivator for most of us. Like the attached Banksy image of the balloon flying away, we allow our dreams and opportunities, and with that our destinies, to drift off with the wind. Out there is a cowboy waiting to catch the opportunity destined for us, and ride off into the preverbal sunset of achievement and greatness WITH OUR OPPORTUNITIES.

The richest place in the world is the local cemetery. There are large numbers of unpainted paintings, unwritten book, million dollar ideas, life changing inventions, and all of it rotting away because we are scared of our own shadows. Stop asking for permission to achieve greatness. The ONLY one who needs to give us permission is the face with the lifeless eyes, wrinkles on the forehead and receding hairline staring back at us from the mirror. The best helping hand is at the end of one of our arms.

Wake-up and smell the coffee, or roses, or what even is needed to help wake up, and just do it. And if we are unsure if we can do it, learn as we go along.

Life is too short for worthless excuses, self-pity and missed opportunities. Carpe Diem; grab the day by the scruff of the neck and shape it the way we want it. Shape it the way we deserve it to be. If we don’t create our own future, no one else will.

SHALOM and remember to be AWESOME.

Thought for the week KW7-2018 – Television is not real life

Arguably one of the greatest businessmen alive in the world today is Bill Gates. A friend of mine made the calculation, during the rapid rise of Microsoft, that if Bill Gates dropped 300$, it was not worth his while to pick it up, he made more money in the 3 seconds he needed, than what was laying on the floor.

Like so many other successful people, things he said have been quoted, re-written and quoted again. I am sure that many quotes from famous people, were not their actual words, but at least we get good saying over time.

To quote Banksy “One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings – Diogenes”. Diogenes Laertius was an Greek writer who “Quoted” the Philosophers of the day, around the 3rd century AD. This week I would like to add to this, by quoting Bill Gates: “I failed in some subjects in Exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.”

Prof. Richard David Precht (https://de-de.facebook.com/richarddavidprecht/, here you can read more about him) questions the schoolings system, especially where we are dependent on the input from teachers and their approval to move forward. Bill Gates’ saying supports that we put too much value on the marks people achieve in formal teaching, instead of their abilities, and their will to achieve. We constantly look for approval.

It is human nature to look for, and in some way, live for the approval of others. Sad to say, when we analyse the reason why we do certain things in life, we will find that it is often aimed at “approval.” Perhaps it is human nature, or perhaps it is ingrained in us from school times, who knows. The fact is, the approval we need to strive for, is that from the face in the mirror. Bill Gates has proven, like so many other great people, that what we need is to believe in ourselves.

For some of us it takes a few minutes to master a new skill, while others take a lot longer. What is important is that we never give up. Like a baby trying to walk, and landing on its behind, or Thomas Edison making the first light bulb. The only way to reach our goals is to go through the learning curves, our own learning curves underpinned with the teachings of those who have been there before.

“Life is not fair. Get used to it.” (Bill Gates) We all have different talents, and often we get upset by what others have, can do and what they have achieved. “We must never compare ourselves to other people in the world. To do so is an insult to ourselves.” (Bill Gates) We have to accept that we are individuals and that we might never have what the Jones’ next door have. The flip side of the coin is, they might never have what we have.

“Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffeeshop and go to jobs.” (Bill Gates) Have we fallen on our behinds? Stop moaning, get up and find a different, better way to move forward, without having to look for approval. It might take us a while to reach our goals, fulfil our destinies, but giving up is never an option.

SHALOM and remember to be AWESOME.

Thought for the week KW6-2018 – Do not approach a horse from behind

On our local radio station there is a Career Advisor giving suggestions on how to get into the job market. In one of the adverts, he says: “There are an freighting high number of psychopaths in management positions.” At first I was offended at this statement, but over time I came to realize that there might be something in his comment.

A family member has a very interesting saying, and in this case, very apt: “Do not approach a horse from behind, a bull from the front, or a fool from any direction.” I would like to know, no matter how senior we are in our positions, this goes for everyone, how do people approach us, if at all.

Do people approach us with open minds, optimistic, knowing that they will get heard, supported and uplifted? Or do they perhaps take the approach applicable to a horse or a bull? Look at the way children approach us, it is eye opening, especially to our over inflated egos. I have recently learned that I need to relook my attitude, by simply observing my children. It is not easy, but I will have to do it. We all know the saying “children and drunkards tell the truth, they seldom lie.” There is a reason why this saying is around.

Are those coming to us scared they will get kicked in the teeth, or under their buts? Or do they keep us at arm’s length, not willing to risk the approach, scared to unleash the worst side of us. Do they not approach us at all? Do they simply avoid us like the plague? We have to ask ourselves why this is the case? Do we perhaps fit the saying at the top? Are we perhaps one of these Psychopathic managers?

In our daily lives, at work or at home, we deal with people all the time. We might not have to manage them, but we have to interact on various levels and in various situations. It is unavoidable that we become a role model to someone, especially for younger people, children and the new employees in the company. We have to ask the face in the mirror: “Am I a good role model? Do people approach me because they have to, or because I make a positive difference to their lives? Would I follow myself as a good role model?”

One of my daily affirmations is: “I love and accept myself.” Do we perhaps act like psychopaths because we do not love and accept ourselves? Do we need to reflect on who and what we are, and what our image to the world is?

Banksy say: “I will work for idiots.” That might be required as we need to earn money to survive. But we can choose if we want to be one of these psychopaths, a horse, a bull or an Idiot.

Let’s make a difference, make everyone feel they can come to us, any time, any place. Make others feel welcome, accepted and loved, because we love and accept ourselves.

SHALOM and remember to be AWESOME.